Is Your Relationship Ruining Your Career?

I’m good at what I do. Odds are, you are, too. You probably read this website because you know you’re good at what you do, have spent years honing the skill set to get you there, and have a clear vision. So good for you! Of course, there is the age old adage, “You can’t have it all.” Most people split their lives into two halves, personal and professional. So what happens when your personal life starts to sabotage your professional life? Which side do you choose? Here’s a few different ways to help you identify if your relationships outside of the office are affecting the ones you have nine to five.

  1. What are you prioritizing? 
    Staying late at the office doesn’t mean you don’t want to come home to your significant other, and taking a personal day doesn’t mean that you hate your job. It’s important that you know on both sides of the equation that you’re striving from balance. If you’re skipping a few late nights – sometimes those are necessary – then you might be missing valuable time at the office proving to others you have the dedication it takes to succeed in your position. Do you miss outside of work functions, such as drinks with coworkers or the company picnic for date night? While everything comes in moderation, that does mean letting your S.O. know your job matters, too.
  2. Can you compartmentalize?
    The most important part of having a successful work life and home life is compartmentalizing. When you’re at work, be totally at work. When you’re at home, be totally at home. No texting your boyfriend every five minutes in the office, and don’t answer work emails during date night at 10p.m. If you find yourself staring at your iPhone during work meetings, waiting on that special someone to text you, that relationship could be hurting your performance (and people notice!).
  3. Are you managing your time?
    The biggest difference between people who can manage a relationship and a professional career and those who can’t is time management. If you can organize your days late at the office and all the date nights you have in a month, then you’re well on your way to assuring both parts of your life are getting enough of you.
  4. Do they have the same ambitions as you?
    Ah, this is a tough one. This is a question I have seen grace many the cover of Cosmopolitan, Elle, or Marie Claire. What happens when your significant other just doesn’t have the same ambition as you do? It can mean they don’t understand why you commit so much to work, why you need to stay late at the office, or in dire situations why you need to work at all. People who have less ambition in life can be perfectly happy, but they will never fully understand the personal satisfaction that comes from someone who does. If you feel a sense of duty or obligation to your significant other to where you feel guilty doing your job to the best of your ability – maybe consider ending that relationship. If it makes you happy to strive for your best in the office, and they just want you to come home early with takeout, then they’re coming in the way of you and your goals!

There are plenty of women who do indeed have it all. You just need to make sure you’re ¬†balancing, prioritizing, and have your own best interests at heart.

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Molly Tullis

I'm a consulting public relations specialist and fashion merchandiser, who toggles her time between Chicago, London, and New York. I'm a Sephora and Starbucks VIP member, which is both a blessing and a curse.